perceptions.

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“all books are judged by their covers until they are read”

How do you feel perceived?

I feel like a lot of people perceive me to be young-minded and not capable of my accomplishments or dreams in life. But I think that’s because I am usually quite cheerful and happy and that can come across as naïve sometimes. I almost feel that to establish an assertive figure I have to be hardened to the core, cynical and tough. Why has that become something associated with authority? 

“no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”

People will be judged no matter what they do. Some perceptions are based on a perceived ethnicity or even your stature; “what if I was a little taller? maybe I would have a little more respect”. There’s always that feeling of “if only I was” or “if only I had” kind of self judgement. What about women? what if they wore high heels? would that extra height give them that extra bit of respect they deserve because they no longer have to look up at someone but rather look at someone?

“we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”

There are these things in our heads; the things that someone said to us when we were younger. The things that keep on ruminating and ruminating at the back of our minds to the point where it becomes our reality, and it becomes who we are; which is a total lie.

I’ve spent a long time trying to keep up and get ahead to impress people with the fact that I knew what I was doing, which doesn’t always stick, because deep down I’m still that young boy that’s nervous and diffident of even the smallest things. There’s always that sense of compensation, be it with regards to intelligence, beauty, charisma or whatever. You can come across as one thing, yet you’re constantly fighting to keep it up and barely make it out alive. We end up delving in our thoughts; “this is how I come off, but I wish it was different”. How can we balance that; learning from what people tell us, to become better people and staying true to who we really are?

“self-esteem isn’t everything; it’s just that there’s nothing without it”

I think we’re always going to be critical of ourselves, and just realising that we’re all feeling those uncomfortable moments helps in the long run. I have come to know several people who are in therapy or reading self-help books who feel reserved about the fact. But why is that? There is always something to work on. Everyone has a blind spot, and for those of us who need that little bit of a push, these sessions and books can be a great guide to lead you to the real you. There is no shame in that, only pride and dignity when you come out the other side knowing your true self.

We’ve all grown up in schools where we have the “cool kids” and the “losers”. The cool kids could never fathom the idea that they shared anything in common with their adversaries. Nonetheless, what none of us knew back then is that we all felt, at one point or another, that something isn’t right; something that we can’t change. It’s ridiculous! But we’ve all gone through it, so there is that sense of unity. With everyone.

– F. Ifram

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