ambitions to be influential.

ambitions to be influential.

Having spent several months applying for PhD’s and research positions across the UK and Europe, I have come across a concept that has plagued me to my core: What do you do if you’re never going to matter?

How do you get over the crushing weight of knowing that you’re never going to influence the world in a significant way? Isn’t that an innate thing that we all aspire to achieve? That we want to have that impact on the world? 

Haven’t you ever imagined an alternate universe in which you are able to make a significant impact on the world? A universe where all your “if this, then that” scenarios have sprouted to life; germinating from the misfortunes of others and towering through the soil to aid your pursuit of being someone that mattered. I have. How f*cked up is that?! Right?!

What has become obvious to me now, having had the opportunity to matter to certain people – something that I am very grateful for – is that it really comes down to mattering to the people that matter to you. It’s not about the dispassionate idea of the “influential life”. It’s all about who you care about and having the people you care about, care about you.

In essence, what it really comes down to is that you’re not trying to matter to the world, you’re trying to matter to people. So, how do you matter to someone? Like, really?

– F. Ifram


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